Sunday, May 17, 2009

Feisty and Non-Complaint

A woman at my yoga class wore a bright red t-shirt proudly sporting the words Feisty and Non-Compliant. The shirt is a fund-raiser for a Michigan Disability Rights group. Everybody complimented her on the shirt. Most of us wished we were more non-compliant. I wish I deserved to wear a shirt like that. I ignore warning signs. I ignore my own boundaries. It's so easy to just do what is asked.  I loved the phrase, "Homey don't play that" after I learned that it meant, "I will not comply even with reasonable requests." But I continue to do things because it's supposedly normal.  Or, because I like and trust you.  I want to deserve to wear a shirt like that.

Here is my credo for the Feisty and Non-compliant. 
Tell me what you are planning. 
Tell me why. 
If it's not worth your time and attention to explain everything to me, I will not comply. 
And if I don't agree with your plans after you have explained them, I will not comply. 
I will only exercise my right to be feisty and non-compliant when I  think it serves my best interests.  I will not be arbitrarily obstructionist. But I will not comply just to avoid a fight or to get something done quickly.  
The purpose to being feisty and non-compliant is to make sure we do what is best for everyone. I expect you to hold me to the same standards. Please be feisty and non-compliant with me so I don't get you to do something you'd rather not do.  Only if we are feisty and non-compliant together can we get the results that are best for all of us. 

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