1) Familiarity breeds satisfaction. Geezer couples know each other’s bodies and know what the other person enjoys.
Geezer free-lovers know enough techniques to quickly figure out how to please the other. It’s not just about bed-post notching any more. They may not be looking for marriage, but a long-term friend-with-benefits could happen.
2) No worries about birth control. Geezer women aren’t fertile. There’s no need to get out a diaphragm or a condom. Geezer couple sex is all about enjoying each other’s bodies with no possible repercussions. Free-love geezers still have to take precautions to avoid spreading STDs.
3) The brain always was the best sex organ. Now we can admit it. Okay, my husband still doesn’t get it when I tell him his thoughts are what attract me the most. Yes, he’s good-looking and cuddly, but I wouldn’t want to be near him if his thoughts (the ones he speaks outloud) didn’t turn me on. It’s amazing how a great idea for designing a chemical reaction (my husband is a chemist, and I was a chemistry minor in college) can be sexy. I’m sure other professions and hobbies have similar brainstorms. And since I can’t speak for the male point-of-view, here’s an essay in praise of older women that I found online: http://www.suddenlysenior.com/praiseolderwomen.html
4) Forget talking about it. “We have to talk” might have worked for “our daughter is flunking gym.” But it never worked in the bedroom. As Patricia Love says in How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, men respond to four things: touch, activity, sex, routine.
5) It’s not routine any more. When sex isn’t every day any more, it becomes a special occasion. The caressing that I have come to know and enjoy means more when I know that it requires planning and concentration. My husband has to put his worries away and concentrate on me. When he was younger, he could multi-task sex and thinking about his job or some other problem. I’m very texture oriented and I appreciate the textures that accompany total focus.
6) Sex can last longer. This isn’t just biology. It’s a choice. Geezers know they can’t do it again in a few minutes, so they savor it. Sometimes due to the biology of aging plumbing, sex lasts too long for pleasure of both partners. There are herbs and pills for both men and women. Herbs I’ve worked with for my husband: Damiana, Ginseng root and Maca. I take Hyland’s Menopause homeopathic pills to prevent vaginal dryness.
7) Sex is a Spiritual Experience. It’s not necessary to go in for tantra to know that the joining of two human beings in the ultimate intimate embrace is a spiritual experience. Aging gives one more perspective on the nature of intimacy. I’m really letting this man into my life, and he is entering into mine. Together, we are happier, stronger, more creative, plus something ineffable that is a product of enduring love. I’m not Christian, and I don’t know about three in one bed, but I think this quote is appropriate Matthew 18:20: “Where two or three have come together in my name, I am there among them.”
Tomorrow, more of my thoughts on great geezer sex. Not a list.