Wednesday, June 3, 2009

More Thoughts on Great Geezer Sex

Geezer sex gets a lot of bad press. Problems with erections. Problems with lubrication. Problems even getting into position. And stories about couples for whom cuddling is enough. 

20 and 30-year-olds look at these stories and get the erroneous idea that geezer sex is inferior to what they currently enjoy. Trying to have babies or trying not to have babies. Trying to have sex between breastfeeding the baby and diapering the baby. Having the world’s fastest sex so you can get some sleep and get to work the next morning early to impress the boss.  So what if they can do it multiple times a night?

Frankly, I wouldn’t want to do that again, any more than I want to be a teenager again and have to deal with all those awkward hormones and rebellious parents and the uncontrollable desire to fix the world at every lapse in perfection.

Young couples have a parenting mantra that reduces their guilt about how their two-income lifestyle means their children are being raised by hired help. Quality time, not Quantity time.  This mantra applies even more to sex.

What nobody talks about is how great the sex is after the physical problems have been accommodated.

For erections, there are pills and herbs. For lubrication, there are pills, herbs, ky jelly, and saliva. For position, there are rolled up blankets, bolsters, pillows, even special sex support pillows. It’s all just details. We know we want to do it. We know we can have privacy. We know we have the time. 

Geezer couples figure out what works for them (and make changes as needed). Getting ready is no less difficult than teenagers finding a private location, or young parents finding a few minutes when their children aren’t demanding attention. Then again, if seniors are in a group living situation, or have their aging parents living with them, it’s still necessary to find a private location, and it’s still necessary to find time when the parents aren’t demanding attention. So maybe nothing changes except that geezers are grown up enough to state their needs without sneaking around or pretending to be doing something else.

The Mayo Clinic and other self-serving medical sites see geezer sex as another income source. “See your doctor” they warn. There may be reasons to see a doctor at any age. There may be reasons to see a doctor about your sex life. But normal geezer sex isn’t one of them. I went to rehab because I was having trouble getting my legs apart. My rehab doc was clearly uncomfortable talking about it, and the first physical therapist he sent me to was so embarrassed, all she could say was “is the bedroom okay?” My 2nd physical therapist never mentioned the reason I was there. But he demonstrated exercises lying on his back across a large exercise ball, doing pelvic thrusts. He kept his face serious, and so did I. Sex is not a medical emergency. It is not an unusual senior activity. 

Doctors just want to get an extra office visit any way they can. All the exercise videos warn: “see your doctor before you begin this or any exercise program.”
“Gee, doc, you think I should exercise, maybe?” 
“That’ll be the cost of one office visit, and maybe you should have a follow up in a few months to see how you’re doing.” 
My rehab doc was out-of-shape and over weight. Hey, doc, have you consulted an exercise video lately? 

It’s true. The sex isn’t as easy as it once was. The plumbing and the hinges aren’t as quick to open up. But once everything is ready, geezers know what to do in ways that young couples never dream of.


  1. Hey Geezer Chick. I like your blog and your message:-) Some women enjoy sex less when they get older due to the strain vaginal childbirth has put on their vagina. I recommend women check out information on Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation and Labiaplasty, which are two modern techniques to help women have great sex again.

  2. Dear Vanessa,
    Yes, we're all different. Thanks for posting links that may help. I like Hyland's Menopause homeopathic pills to promote lubrication. We all have to find what works for us at any age.