As the Sedona Method course says: don't WANT control. HAVE Control.
The replacement hard drive arrived. The box was the wrong shape for my old drive, but I have scissors. I packed up the bad drive in the box that the good one arrived in, stuck the prepaid return sticker on the box and it was good to go.
I neglected to READ the address on the return label. That bad hard drive just showed up again at my door. The return label was addressed to me! So, I was back on the webchat with Seagate to get another label. This time they emailed it to me and this time I read it. This time it says it is going to Seagate.
Then I tried to download my backup files onto the new drive. Would you believe it takes 4 or 5 hours to download a 3 gigabyte file from my backup service? 4 or 5 minutes should be sufficient at the speed of my internet connection. I contacted the online backup service. They advised me to use a download manager. Firefox has a download manager. But I followed their instructions and downloaded the one they recommended. Suddenly my estimated backup times were now 10 hours per file. There are 88 of these files. I'm supposed to download everything within 3 days. This is NOT possible. That was yesterday. I uninstalled the download manager and I managed to get 12 files.
This morning I tried to extract those 12 files. Only one of them could be extracted. The others were not valid files. They didn't have the recorded file sizes. And the built-in download manager in Firefox doesn't have a re-download feature. So, I had to start over at the beginning. I was still keeping my cool. These were soluble problems. I wrote the online backup service asking them to extend my alloted download time.
I told my husband, the alien, about my problems hoping for sympathy. He started giving me explanations that made as much sense as the pointy-haired boss on Dilbert. This is my profession - not his. I tried a few rounds of "No, that's not what happened. No, that won't fix it." He kept telling me what was wrong from his perspective. I lost it. "If you want me to explain it to you, you need to ask questions. There's no point in telling me what you think is wrong."
So much for all my learning about not wanting approval and not wanting control. I wanted both desperately and here I was doing the most counterproductive thing possible -- bossing my well-meaning husband around, which I know he hates just as much as humans.
Fortunately, I've also been telling him about Sedona Method. And he was able to quote it to me. Not exactly. What he said was, "I love you. There's no point in yelling at me." That was just want I needed to return my mind to a calm gear.
SM can take the lid off frustration and prevent arguments -- but only if I remember to use it.
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