Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sedona Method Day #6

Sedona Method defines Lust as wanting something that we feel we cannot or should not have. Lust thoughts are thoughts about what we do not have, but hunger for. We may reach for these things. We may fantasize about these things. We may enjoy these fantasies. Lust is not totally unpleasant like apathy, grief, and fear. But the built-in sense of NO, ruins it.

Some of the words that the book uses to describe lust are:
anticipation, can’t wait, craving, demanding, driven, envy, frenzy, hoarding, hunger, I want, impatient, lascivious, lecherous, miserly, must have it, never enough, never satisfied, reckless, selfish, voracious.

I want my life back. I do crave that body I had on July 6, 2009 before I got hit by a car. And I know I can’t have it. My physical therapist says that fracture patients are the worst because one second they were fine and then the next second they weren’t. I am impatient for that bone to grow back together. I am impatient to take charge of my own life again. But these thoughts, these emotions don’t accomplish anything useful. I’ll even admit to craving the body I had when I was 50, or 30. At that point the whole thing is obviously impossible. And that’s the point of examining my thinking.

I’d probably be happier if I thought it was fun to ask people to do things for me than to hesitate and feel like I’m creating an imposition.

This idea opens doors. I’m a responsibility freak and I’m not getting any fun out of that attitude.

As usual, the book asks me to welcome my feelings of lust. The idea that I should not have help. I should not have willing partners. The whole attitude makes no sense. I help other people. And people help me. The only thing standing in my way is my thoughts. The more I allow them, the more illogical they seem. But they made sense until I examined them.

Yes, I want to heal. That’s why I’m doing the exercises in this book. It looks like healing means changing the way I think. There is no thought that will speed the healing of my body. There is no thought that will make the laundry do itself. I have to ask for help. I have to wait for the bus, for the mail, for the library to get a book I’ve ordered. I have to wait for my body to heal. The only choice I have here is the thoughts I think.

I can make this situation more bearable by changing those thoughts.
Would I let the lust thoughts go? My inner responsibility freak self says NEVER, but that’s not a sane answer, and my inner responsibility self wants to be sane.

Here's a link to the book:

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