Friday, September 11, 2009

Sedona Method Day #8

Sedona Method defines Pride as “Wanting to maintain the status quo. Unwilling to change or move, therefore we stop others from movement so they won’t pass us up.”

Granted. I was unwilling to give up my status as a strong healthy geezer-chick. If somebody had asked, “Who wants to get hit by a car?” I would not have volunteered. I’ve spent decades maintaining, stretching, exercising this body. And yes, I was proud of my endurance, my flexibility, my health.

But I don’t see what’s wrong with that. The other emotions I’ve dealt with in this course are generally agreed to be problems. (apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger) But Pride? What’s wrong with pride in what I’ve accomplished?

Some of the phrases and words that Sedona Method uses to describe Pride are:
above reproach, bigoted, clever, cool, critical, isolated, judgmental, opinionated, self-absorbed, self-satisfied, special, stubborn, uncompromising.

Okay, I do see some problems here. But I’m good at what I do. People pay me to be critical of their work. People pay me to develop clever solutions. And yes, I consider myself and the people I care about to be special. According to Sedona Method, I’m supposed to welcome these feelings and then let them go.

I don’t have the strong flexible healthy body any more. I didn’t let it go. It was taken from me by that reckless driver. Apparently what I need to let go of is the pride I had in it. It would be so easy, if it were my car that got hit. I’m not emotionally attached to a car. Alright – that’s not quite true. When we bought our first new car, the first place I drove it, somebody with a white truck fendered my parked car and left white paint smudges on my lovely new turquoise car.

I found that driver and I asked, “How do you suggest I get that white paint off my car?” The driver told me that since I had a new plastic car, I should get the special polish made for plastic cars and the white paint would come right off. I bought a bottle within days, and yes, it got that white paint off. My new car was no longer smudged. And I was proud of that. After a few years and a lot more parking and even active fender benders, I stopped caring. But I have been proud of a car. Not as proud as I was of my body.

Yes, it’s illogical to be proud of the body I don’t have any more. But I think Sedona Method, which I’m tempted to call SM, except that I’ve already got people accusing me of sado-masochism for doing this, wants more from me. More of a change in core attitude.

Looking at the list, I admit to being judgmental. I often think people who disagree with me aren’t thinking straight. When I told my neighbor how my helmet saved my life, and she said she still doesn’t want to wear her helmet, I thought she was making a huge mistake. I still do. But, in keeping with this course, it is her mistake to make, if it is a mistake. I don’t know the future. Maybe nobody will ever hit her. She is enjoying the wind in her hair. And maybe there’s no reason she shouldn’t. I bought myself a new helmet with a jaw protector because one of the most painful results of my accident was my fractured jaw. I also bought a protective helmet for my husband, the alien. I never want him to have a fractured jaw. And he was willing to wear the heavier clunkier helmet. He’s special. There I go again thinking in ways SM calls Pride.

My family and friends are special to me. I guess SM would ideally have me think equally about everybody. I don’t know how to wrap my head around that.

Let me go back to the beginning: “Wanting to maintain the status quo.” Now there’s an aspect of Pride I can work on. I can see where getting upset because my body is damaged isn’t useful. I can see where getting upset when people are angry with me isn’t sensible. Any emotional reaction to changes that are out of my control won’t help the situation. The sooner I can let go of the emotions, the sooner I can do something to make myself more comfortable. This seems to be the core of Sedona Method, in yet another guise.

Here's a link to the book:

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