Something in the man's voice implied that I was asking too much of the universe, or that I was being suckered by a book full of impossible promises.
"Absolutely!" I replied.
His response proved that he'd been listening to my discussion with the Physical Therapist the week before. "I thought you just wanted your life back."
"Getting my life back means not being angry all the time about being hit by a car."
He looked a bit more sympathetic. "I'd be angry, too, if I'd been hit by a car."
But he still didn't think the book was on the up and up. I don't know how to discuss that. Either he's up for the experiment, or he's not.
I was reading the section on likes and dislikes. There are things we like and things we dislike about every choice we ever make. SM suggests writing down the choice and then writing down the likes and dislikes. Note which want (approval, control, security) these likes and dislikes bring up. Then release on the wants. SM claims that this process will make difficult choices easier.
My ride to Physical Therapy was there for his last visit. This means I won't be getting rides any more. When we started, I needed the rides. I was not allowed to ride my bike. I had to go on his schedule. He gets up late. He likes appointments at 11 AM. I'd rather be there at 7:30 and have the rest of my day free.
Now I can ride my bike and go on my schedule. I like being on my schedule. I like riding my bike. But I also like getting a ride because I work hard in physical therapy and I'm tired when I come home. Now I'll be riding my bike home. I could take the bus. That would undo the bulk of the time advantage.
It takes about an hour each way by bus with the transfers. I can bike there in less than half an hour. I could take a cab. That's not how I want to spend my money, and it's an eco-crime. This is a simple decision. Of course I'll ride my bike. And my legs will get stronger. The likes and dislikes here are all control issues. I don't have to want control. I can take control.
There is the security issue --I could get hit again on my bike. I know that's always a possibility, even when I'm not on my bike. That is really a non-issue. There is no such thing as a secure life.
But the likes and dislikes process applies to any decision. My trip to York just got postponed a week. Big deal. I can go whenever. I already made the decision to go and to do things that I enjoy. My brain training is working at the moment.
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