Friday, December 4, 2009

Telephone Computer Support

Me: Hello. I'm calling about my mother's computer. The order number is ______. Her computer worked for about a week. Now it won't turn on.
Company: What is the service code on your mother's computer?
Me: I can't see my mother's computer. I'm in Pennsylvania and her computer is with her in California. That's 3000 miles away.
Company: I see that your mother's computer is waiting to be picked up at Fedex.
Me: My mother's computer has been delivered. It won't turn on.
Company: Please wait while I get Fedex on the line.
Me: Your company decided to make a replacement computer for my mother. I'm calling to ask if when the new computer arrives, if you could send a technician to transfer the hard drive from her dead computer to the live one.
Company: That is not our policy.
Me: May I talk to your supervisor?
Company: May I ask why you want to talk to a supervisor?
Me: I'm not satisfied with the policy.
Company: That is our policy. Nobody will change it.
Me: I bought a new computer for my mother. I flew 3000 miles to her house and spent a day with her putting all her programs and data on the new hard drive. Now the computer is dead, but the hard drive is probably good.
Company: Our technician can help your mother transfer the data from her old computer to the new one for a minimal fee. It's just a telephone call, not a home visit.
Me: Her old computer -- it's less than a month old -- doesn't turn on. She can't transfer data from it.
Company: She should back up her data.
Me: Her computer won't turn on. And she needs more than the data. She needs drivers and programs.
Company: It is not our policy.
Me: Then please cancel the new computer and send all the parts except the case and the hard drive to my mother's house and have a technician put them in.
Company: That is not our policy.
Me: May I talk to a supervisor?
Company: Getting a new computer is better than fixing the old one.
Me: No it is not. I spent a day putting all my mother's programs and data and drivers on her computer. The new computer won't have those things on the hard drive.
Company: I can help you troubleshoot the old computer. Are you sitting in front of it?
Me: My mother's computer is 3000 miles away and it won't turn on. I can't trouble shoot it. May I please talk to a supervisor?
--- If you would like to make a call please hang up and dial again ------
Me: I'm calling about my mother's computer. Her order number is __________. I was being transferred to a supervisor and we got disconnected.
Company: Would you like to talk to a supervisor now?
Me: Yes.
Company: Maybe I can help you.
Me: A replacement computer has been ordered. I would like to have the hard drive from her current computer put into her new computer when it arrives.
Company: That is not our policy.
Me: May I talk to a supervisor?
Company: All the supervisors are busy now. I can have one call you back in 15 minutes.
Me: Okay. My number is ___________.
--- Next day ---
Me: I'm calling about my mother's computer. Her order number is _____________.
Company: I see that somebody has picked her computer up from Fedex last week.
Me: I was told that a new computer is being made and that it has not shipped yet.
Company: Oh, I see. That was a mistake. I called up the wrong account on the screen.
Me:I'm calling because I'd like someone to go to her house when the new computer arrives and transfer the old hard drive from her dead computer into the new one.
Company: We can send a technician to her house who will do that. Your case number is __________.
Me: Thank you.


  1. I am anxious to hear if it got fixed. This is the kind of craziness that makes me curse the modern age.

  2. Thanks, Alisonrut. The puter hasn't shipped yet. They promised me they'd email me the tracking number when it does ship. I'm nonplussed that the puter company thinks replacing the puter is better than fixing the old one. The warranty said nothing about replacing. The warranty said 3-day service. This has been over 2 weeks now. And the telephone reps keep insisting that a new puter is better. Seems like Animal Farm "Ending is better than mending." But the company will take back the old (1 month old) puter and maybe reuse the good parts. This is crazy. Updates will appear in this column as they happpen.