Tuesday, May 3, 2011

PT Has Its Own Rewards

You know what happens if you are good in PT and actually do your exercises?  They strap weights on your ankles to make the exercises harder and they give you more exercises to do.
My new exercise involves slow low marching while sitting on an exercise ball, trying not to move my upper body to compensate for weakness in my legs. It’s a balance exercise.
It sounds silly, but I love it.


I love exercise.  What I don’t love is when Young PT calls me “compliant.” In any other area I am not compliant. 


I’ve already figured out a new tactic designed to foil the TSA molesters.  I’m going to buy a box of extra-thick sanitary napkins to protect my crotch from their prying fingers.  Definitely non-compliant, but they can’t claim I’ve broken any laws, so I expect to get away with it.  Another option would be wearing an adult diaper. I’m also going to wear thick jeans.  I must have been crazy to wear a dress,  just because I was going to a memorial service and had no idea that the TSA agents had turned into crotch gropers by government orders.


I did look into taking the train, but it costs 4 times as much and takes 3 times as long.  These are not sacrifices I’m willing to make.


The TSA seems to be in the opposite business from my PT.  My PT is about making me stronger and more flexible, so I can go where I want, the way I want. The TSA is about limiting my freedom to move about the world, and my freedom to privacy in my own body.


Now, maybe we should put weights on the ankles and wrists of TSA agents.  The better they get at their work of taking away our freedoms, the more difficult we should make their jobs.  Make them sit on balance balls and do slow low marching and try to keep their balance.  Maybe they’ll have so much fun they don’t want to bother travelers.   

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