Thursday, October 13, 2011

Balls are for Sale

I saw a quote recently that read, “People keep saying I should grow some balls.  Why? Testicles are delicate and easily hurt.  What they really need is to grow a vagina.  Vaginas are built to take a pounding.”

Since menopause, I’ve developed a sneeze and leak problem.  Yes, I’ve bought panty liners.  But there has to be an exercise to fix this problem.  I tried kegels. I got really good at squeezing that plastic vaginal insert.  But along comes a sneeze and I still leak.

Off to the web.  Where I learned that ben wa balls, which I’d heard of as a sex toy that didn’t look like much fun, are supposed to strengthen the necessary muscles to prevent sneeze-and-leak.  The idea is to put these things in my vagina, and get strong enough to keep them in while hurrying up and down stairs 4 times.  Beginners just have to stand still with their feet hip-width apart.  And even experienced users are advised to keep underpants on at all times.

So, I ordered a pair.  They come in a fancy velvet-covered jewelry box with a piece of foam rubber inside which has little holes cut out of it to hold the little metal balls.  This item costs $15 plus shipping.  And it’s just a pair of 3/4" spherical stainless steel ball bearings.

For about $18, Amazon sells 10 of them. Stainless Steel 440C Ball, Grade 100, 3/4" Diameter (Pack of 10)

Okay, I can’t use 10 of them, but I could give them to friends and female family members.

So far, I’ve managed to stand still and keep them in.  I even made it walking at a somewhat-slow speed down and up my stairs once.  I tried for twice, but one of the balls fell out.  Supposedly anybody can master this in 6 weeks.  5 weeks and 6 days to go.  This is an experiment.  Balls for women are tough.

1 comment:

  1. Love this post. Funny, informative, helpful. Will pass it on.