Fixing computers is much more about calming down the owners than repairing the machinery. Last night, a client called up because her computer kept trying to get her to buy an upgrade to her word processing program, rather than loading the one she has.
I have a program that I give clients who tend to get this sort of problem. It lets me run their computers from my computer so I can stay home at 10 PM, and fix their problems most of the time.
My first look at her desktop showed me that the icons for her documents had changed. They used to be blue. Now they were orange.
So, my client told me about her terrible day while I re-associated her documents with her word processing program.
And I learned that she has 3rd grade boys who tell each other “suck my dick.”
I live in a world where 3rd grade boys have never heard anyone say anything so crude.
And my teachers made us look up any words that we used as insults.
I remembered what would have happened if one of my classmates had said that.
Teacher: Is that what you really want?
Teacher: Do you know the meanings of the words you are using?
Just as children repeat what their parents say when they are in school, they repeat what the teacher says when they are at home. And I can picture the child asking his father, “Is that what you really want?”
Eventually, I’m sure the teacher got the phone call from the boy’s father: “What are you teaching my son? I am not a faggot!”
By the time I was done with my fantasy (which I kept to myself), my client’s computer wasn’t letting her type. So, I asked her to reboot.
Upon reboot, everything worked as it should. My client asked me why the computer was so cooperative for me. I told her, “Your computer knows I have screwdrivers and I know how to use them. It doesn’t want me to come over there.”