I think I figured out Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
I was looking for a place to market my revolutionary Thanksgiving story. Spider looked like it might be a good choice, so I read the sample issue online.
It featured a frog version of Rudolph. A little frog with short legs can’t hop and dance like the regular frogs, so they leave her home when they rehearse their show.
But one day, the frogs get in trouble, and the short-legged one can help them out with her big ideas.
As a red-nosed short-legged wombat myself, I’ve always sided with Rudolph. Who are these other creatures who seem to run the world? Why do they get to reject me? And then, why-oh-why do they think I should help them out on the rare occasion when they think I might be useful?
And why-oh-why do I comply?
I thought this story was written for the oddball child.
Then it occurred to me. Most children aren’t oddballs.
This story would have a minuscule market if it was aimed at the oddballs.
This story is written for the normals –the creatures who run the world. It says to this majority – this ruling class – it’s okay to exclude and insult the oddball. And if you ever should need the red-nose short-legged one, s/he’ll help you out. S/he’ll be thrilled to do so. And afterwards you can go back to ignoring him or her.
Sure, you have to be nice while you are being helped, but it won’t last long and soon your problem will be over and you can go back to normal.
So, no, Spider isn’t the right magazine for my story.