Sunday, November 8, 2015

Breaking in to a Dead Man's Computer

A client called me.  One of her co-workers had gifted her a laptop computer that used to belong to her recently deceased husband.  My client wanted me to check it out and put it on her network.

The computer looked okay – the keys were clean, the monitor was clean.

The first screen gave us a choice of Windows 7 or Vista. This indicated that the computer was probably 8 years old.  In my view, that’s pushing the lifespan of a viable computer.

I chose 7.  It failed to boot.

I chose Vista.  

We got the login screen.  The User ID photo was a woman’s crotch.  No comment.  I asked my client if she knew the computer’s password.  She didn’t.

I requested the password hint. The hint was Cat.  

I asked, “Did the husband have a cat?”

“Yes, Garfield.”

I tried Garfield, GARFIELD, garfield.  They all failed.

I looked again at that User ID photo.  By this time, my client was watching me work.  I suggested “Pussy.”  She laughed.  That wasn’t the password.  Also not pussy or PUSSY. We tried Kitty.  Not the password.

I went online on another computer on her network and searched for slang terms meaning vagina.
Cunt and Snatch didn’t work either.  Then I started finding some names I’d never seen before – but names that would not work for a cat.  Wizard’s sleeve. The Grandest Canyon.

My client said she’d been thinking about asking some of her teenaged male students to help with the computer.  Now she was glad she hadn’t.  She’d never live it down.

I asked my client if she still had her Windows 7 installation disk.  She did.  The DVD drive on the laptop was broken.  Next stop, I’ll bring a USB DVD drive and reinstall Windows 7.  

Guessing a dead-man’s password clearly isn’t one of my talents.

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